Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

This is a phrase I've been having to remind myself of a lot lately.  A good friend of mine gave me the book 'Don't Sweat the Small Stuff' by Richard Carlson, Ph.D. as a birthday present this year, but I never imagined how much this book would be helping me and playing a part in my life.
This year has been somewhat pretty stressful for me.  From friend drama, relationship problems, an unknown 'sickness', pageant preparation, philanthropy commitment, and the stress of a busy college student, it's been a physically, mentally, and emotionally draining year...and it's just half way through!
I've recently lost some friends due to different 'life choices', and some of the changes that come with that.  It's been sad and frustrating all at the same time.  No one likes to lose friends, especially those whom you've shared memories with for the past 4 and 13 years.  This experience has definitely taught me to choose my battles wisely...I could dwell and spend all my time thinking about what went wrong and how to beg them to be friends again and even change who I am to be accepted, but then I realize how much emotional energy I would be wasting, and how it's not going to keep me in the right direction for my future.  As much as we want to keep people in our lives forever, we have to accept the fact that people change and sometimes they're only meant to serve a purpose and be a part of our lives for so long.  Sometimes, it's just best to cherish the memories, part ways, and move on with your life.
I know that with relationships (especially dealing with the opposite sex), it can be really easy to over-think things, it's like your brain gets stuck in a hamster-wheel.  The snowball effect of our thinking only results in negative ways.  There's the what does that mean? what do I say? what do I do? what is he/she going to say? how will he/she react to that? what will the outcome of this be? The more we dwell on our thoughts the more absorbed we become in them, and the worse we begin to feel.  It's like one thought leads to another, which leads to another, and yet another, until you finally get to the point where you become incredibly agitated.  It's important to remind yourself of the 'snowball effect', and try not to dwell on thoughts so much.  Write them down, sometimes actually getting thoughts on paper can literally get them out of your head, and you can always come back to them when you have another thought.
For the past couple of months I've been dealing with headaches, nausea, dizziness, fatigue, and other numerous symptoms.  There's been many doctor visits, most of the time coming away with no answers, but hopefully this past one has made some progress.  Nothing is looking too serious which is a relief, but it's hard to feel like my usual self when my body isn't 'up to par'.  I'm reminding myself though, that even though I may not have control of my body, I have control of my attitude; and that plays a huge role in one's happiness and future.  I couldn't think of a better example than one of my friends who recently passed away due to cancer - he started his battle when he was 12 years old, and although cancer took his life when he was only 19, it definitely didn't ruin it; he is a prime example of having a good attitude and appreciating all the great things in life no matter the circumstances.  He is a great reminder that things could be so much worse, and that even when things go from the small stuff to the big stuff, your attitude still allows you to live each day to it's fullest.
I'm learning that it's ok to take some 'me time' and that I don't always have to catch the ball when someone tires to throw it at me.  With pageant season starting up, newly being elected as Philanthropy Chair of my sorority, all on top of being a college student - I'm stretched out pretty thin.  I hate telling people no, and I love being involved in everything; but I'm learning to accept the fact that I'm not Wonder Woman, and I don't need to be.  Doing a great job in the things that I am involved with is better than doing ok in everything.  As important as it is to have big dreams, high standards, and push yourself to the limit, it's also import to realize and accept that it's ok not to be perfect, no one is.
When we have a lot going on in our lives it's easy to become very stressed and feel down, but it's important to step back, look at the big picture, and ask yourself 'is this really that big of a deal? is this even going to matter a year from now?'  I can bet that in doing so, we'll always be able to find something that could be so much worse, and in that find comfort and realize that we don't need to sweat the small stuff. 
-Steph