Gone Are the Teen Years

Well as of yesterday I am no longer a teenager! Yep that's right I have entered a new decade!  So now I'm sitting on my bed...reflecting on my past, and dreaming about my future.
In the week or two before by birthday, I'll admit I was a bit scared, more so terrified - I've always been mature for my age and felt that I should be turning older than 20, but when it started to become a reality, the thought of growing up and becoming an adult began to terrify me and all I really wanted was to be 3 again.  Because when I was 3...my mom was my biggest fan and would take care of me when I was sick, my dad was my hero and I knew everything would always be ok as long as he was there, life was carefree and there was not a worry in the world, not to mention I was surrounded by the beauty of Rwandan hills.
Unfortunately being 3 will only be a fond memory, and as much as I'd like to grow younger instead of older that's just not possible.
But I've also realized there is a lot of beauty in growing up - looking back on all I've accomplished in 20 years doesn't only make me proud, but it inspires me for the next 20 years of my life and each and every year after that; for I know I will be able to accomplish so much more.  Although not every memory is a happy one: there is heartbreak, many tears, having my feelings hurt and hurting others feelings, there's been times when I've fallen flat on my face, there's been plenty of mistakes, but they've all been lessons learned and those lessons have helped shape me into the young woman I've become.
My mom is still my biggest fan, and although she's not here to physically take care of me when I'm sick, I know she would if she could.  My dad is still my hero, and although he can't protect me from all of life's 'evils', just a simple phone call with him saying 'courage babe, courage', and I know in the end everything will be ok.  My whole life may not be carefree because I now have many responsibilities, but I know there will still be those moments of pure bliss.  I may not physically be surround by the beauty or simplicity of Rwanda, but my heart can be.
Looking towards my future I know there will be many obstacles, many more tears, hurt, and mistakes, there are going to be tough decisions, but I also know that some of my best years and some of the happiest times of my life are ahead of me.  My life is now in my hands and I get to choose exactly what I do with it and who I become, and I have so many amazing people around me to share it with.
There are going to be days when I watch a child ride their bike down the street or jump in puddles on a rainy day and I am going to wish for nothing more than to be just like them...but hey I can still do that, as well as so much more!
To everyone who has played a part in my life, big or small, and to those of you who continue to be involved in my life - Thank You! For I wouldn't be the young woman I am today without you! I couldn't ask for more :) I am truly blessed<3
Do not fear growing older, it is a privilege denied to many.
Growing up doesn't mean you have to grow old, you can always keep that kid at heart :)
-Steph